A little research on Google has given me several examples of phrases, wording or stupidity I would like to avoid.
"Before I start I would like to say that [Bride's Name], you look absolutely stunning today. [Groom's Name], on the other hand, you just look stunned."
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it. Whenever you're right, shut up.
2. The best way to remember an anniversary is to forget it just once.
3. Never be afraid that [Brides Name] will leave you, she has spent years training you and she won't give that up lightly.
1. You're right. Always."
"Some say that marriage begins when you sink into his arms, but it ends up with your arms in his sink.
Some say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, its love, after marriage it is self-defense.
Still others say that before marriage, a man will lay awake thinking about something you said, but after marriage he'll fall asleep before you have finished saying it."
Not too awesome, hugh?
Any pointers on how to do it right?